Friday, July 10, 2009

Watch out! This is Bat Country!


For those new to the realm of the Kendragon, let me catch you up.

I'm a post-college grad who has been out in the adult world for about three years. Around five years ago I was diagnosed with mild manic-depression, which I kindly refer to as my Crazy.

I've gone through many a up and down, but now I'm working on getting my life in order. This has become increasingly important in the last three months. In that time I've 1) found an amazing man that I love whom I call Max, 2) been fired from a job I didn't like much but still labored at intensively, which has brought about a confusing set of responses both emotional and physical, and 3) moved from Cleveland, OH to Barstow, CA.

This last change has been both exciting and terrifying. I came out here because Max got a job offer that he couldn't pass up. He asked me to join him cause he loves me and didn't want to be apart from me. Without a job and living at my parents I had nothing keeping me in C-town. So I opted to come along. We have a lovely house with pets out here now and we're feeling our way through figuring out how to live with someone like adults.

The only thing that has made this huge change less than exciting is that my crazy has been raging. Without a job and nothing but time to worry I've been having some bad times. My fear of rejection has convinced me that the great man in my life will leave me, and no less in the middle of the desert now. Max has been noticing my paranoia and depression, and it's been hard on him as well. Something needs to change soon to make things better. Hopefully using this as an outlet will only help.

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